The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too…’

What is yellow and can’t swim?
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An excavator.
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Did you find it funny?
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No.
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Neither did the excavator operator.

Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.

Stockbroker's Creed:
A man is a client until proven broke!

LazarR wrote: Fri May 04, 2018 12:39 am Stockbroker's Creed:
A man is a client until proven broke!

That's the creed of anyone who tried to sell anything ever, in my opinion.

A husband tells his wife, "Since it is your birthday, remember that yellow Lamborghini that you really wanted?". The wife screams in joy and starts crying tears of joy. Then the husband says, "Well I got you a toothbrush, same color".

What to do when somebody is trying to start an argument with you? Simply eat a few cookies. They taste very nice and you can’t hear anything over the crunching.

I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.

mlawson71 wrote: Wed May 09, 2018 9:57 pm I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.

HAHA I can can relate