Today I brought a pizza with me on the bus. The driver said: “Hey that is not a restaurant here.”
I said: “I know, that’s why I brought my own food.”

What a beautiful day for popping down to the Town Hall and chucking a bucket of whitewash over the pigeons and saying, " There you are - How do you like it?..."

SilverBB wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:07 pm

What a beautiful day for popping down to the Town Hall and chucking a bucket of whitewash over the pigeons and saying, " There you are - How do you like it?..."

Hahahah, I totally understand the sentiment.

If you spent your day in a well, can you say your day was well-spent?

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? - because he had no-body to go with!

YeshuaYoke wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:06 pm

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? - because he had no-body to go with!

Hahaha, I love a good pun!

how do u stop your girlfriend from smoking!!!???? -

slow down and use a lubricant.

YeshuaYoke wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 24, 2019 12:42 pm

how do u stop your girlfriend from smoking!!!???? -

slow down and use a lubricant.

puahahahaha

A lady is discussing with her mum the possibility of marrying a rich man that asked her out, the mum says why not, meanwhile the guy is buying her expensive gifts and fur coats, diamonds, etc so the mum and daughter decided he is right for her, and on the day of the wedding he even flies the mother in on a helicopter, he is really that rich, so she marries the man and about week later she is discussing with her mother again, and says "I think ill have to divorce him"- mother is like "why doesn't he get you everything you want?"..... daughter replies ""yes he buys everything for me but I just don't think I can stay married to him!!!" - mother "why?daughter of mine"? - daughter "I don't think we will have children " - mother ""why is that" - daughter "he likes to do it in the back", mother "is it so bad that he does that and perhaps u wont have children, he does spend a lot of money on you" -
daughter "its not that, I know he always buys be things and spends a lot on me, its just my arse was the size of a five cent piece and now its the size of a fifty cent piece"………

mother "my gosh!!!!!!" & "you're going to throw it all away for 0.45c ?!!!!"