Pepsi is facing criticism for a controversial new ad that shows a bunch of people protesting, and then Kendall Jenner steps in and solves everyone’s problems by handing the police officer a Pepsi. And even in the commercial, the cop’s like, “Are you all out of Coke?”

I spend three minutes every ?day choosing a TV channel ?to leave on for my dog. Then ?I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

At the Academy of Country Music Awards, Willie Nelson announced he was writing his memoirs. He said in his memoirs, he will explain how marijuana has affected his life. Here’s how it affected his life: He started writing his memoir in 1946.

Because of the sexual allegations against him, it’s rumored that Bill O’Reilly’s show may be going off the air. For continuity’s sake, Fox will replace it with reruns of "The Cosby Show."

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

“I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you 
remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.