A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”

Why has astrology been invented? So that economy could be an accurate science.

What to do when somebody is trying to start an argument with you? Simply eat a few cookies. They taste very nice and you can’t hear anything over the crunching.

How many gorillas can fit into a car?

Eight.

How many chickens can fit into the car?

None, the car is already full of gorillas.

Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”

Wife: “No.”

Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”

Wife: “No, why?”

Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.”

Just read an article about the top 100 things to do before you die. Was quite surprised that screaming “HELP ME!!” didn’t make the list.

mlawson71 wrote: Wed Apr 04, 2018 11:58 pm I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

Hahahahha good one!

A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order drinks. Who picks up the bill? A German.

Jimmy wrote: Thu Apr 05, 2018 12:29 am
Hahahahha good one!

I was not expecting that particular joke to be that liked.