I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

If you owe the bank £100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank £100m, that's the bank's problem

Air force truisms:
“Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.”
“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.”
“Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.”
“Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.”

My wife suffers from a drinking problem.
- Oh is she an alcoholic?
- No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

I’d rather spend ten minutes rearranging the dishwasher to accommodate something than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand.

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.