I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and—I can’t remember what the third thing is.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said in an interview yesterday, "I laugh at least once every day. Otherwise I cannot do this job." Once every day? I would have guessed "once, period."

tim079 wrote: Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:43 am1.jpg

That is actually kind of endearing.

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”

Do you wanna get rich quickly - then follow the steps below pace by pace
Study hard
Study harder
Sleep less, eat less, study even harder
Stop sleeping, stop eating, study hardest
Work hard
Work harder
Sleep less, eat less, work even harder
Stop sleeping, stop eating, work hardest
Relax and think
Marry a rich widow or widower

flash crash on market and you

An unscrupulous broker was in court once after being caught in an elaborate scheme to defraud people out of their money.
The judge: How many people did you cheat with your scheme?
The broker: None
The judge: You do realize that we have the proof of your activities, and you will be charged with perjury if you lie?
The broker: I do
The judge: Do you know the penalty for perjury?
The broker: Yes, I do, as a matter of fact. And I also know that it is a lot less than the one I’d face if I told the truth

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

The problem with an investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left