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Re: Traders joking ...

#938
A trader was travelling along in a hot air balloon, when all of a sudden hot air started escaping from the balloon. The balloon strayed off course and rapidly descended, hitting the ground and ending up in the middle of a paddock.
The trader looked around the paddock but had no idea where he was. Suddenly, a man approached the balloon and asked the trader if he could help him. The trader said yes, and asked the man if he could tell him where he was. The man answered eagerly "you are in a hot air balloon, in the middle of a paddock". The trader replied, "oh, you must be an accountant". The man smiled and said "yes, how did you know?". "Because" explained the trader, "whilst everything you say is perfectly true, it is of absolutely no use to me whatsoever".

Re: Traders joking ...

#939
mlawson71 wrote:
Sun Sep 09, 2018 11:12 pm
Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the refrigerator?
Hahahaha that's a good one. True!! :lol:
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Re: Traders joking ...

#940
One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word `fuck’. It is a magical word. Just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. In language it falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive, “John fucked Mary,” and intransitive, “Mary was fucked by John”, and as a noun, “Mary is a fine fuck.” It can be used as an adjective, “Mary is fucking beautiful.”
As you can see, there are not many words with the versatility of fuck. Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:

Ignorance: Fucked if I know.
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!
Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Aggression: Fuck you!
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Difficulty: I can’t understand this fucking job.
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.
Request: Get the fuck out of here.
Hostility: I’m going to knock your fucking head off.
Greeting: How the fuck are you?
Apathy: Who gives a fuck?
Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.
Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
Anxiety: Today is really fucked.
And it is very healthy if every morning you do it as a transcendental meditation just when you get up, first thing, repeat the mantra “fuck you” five times; it clears your throat too!

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