Re: Traders joking ...
362Socialism
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
Communism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Bureucratism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away
Traditional Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
American Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
EnronVenture Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
AndersenModel Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You shred them
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
Communism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
Bureucratism
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away
Traditional Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
American Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
EnronVenture Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
AndersenModel Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You shred them
Re: Traders joking ...
363Question: How do you become a successful banker?
Answer: There are 3 basic rules – first, you don’t lend money to those who have none; second, don’t lend money to those who are in dire need of it; and finally, never lend your own money.
Answer: There are 3 basic rules – first, you don’t lend money to those who have none; second, don’t lend money to those who are in dire need of it; and finally, never lend your own money.
Re: Traders joking ...
364Seen on the door of a repair shop:
WE CAN FIX ANYTHING. (Please knock on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)
WE CAN FIX ANYTHING. (Please knock on the door—the bell doesn’t work.)
Re: Traders joking ...
366According to statistics, every day 65 people become millionaires — this idea haunts me.
Re: Traders joking ...
367Two participants returned home late:
What is metro going?
- So it's already closed...
- Yes? But at what price?
What is metro going?
- So it's already closed...
- Yes? But at what price?
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